The Fastest State Trooper

Homes for Heroes loves a State Trooper with a sense of humor!

In most of the northern states, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop down to the single digits or below.

About 3 AM one very cold morning in March of 2004, a state police officer responded to a call: there was a car off the shoulder of the road on the outskirts of town. He located the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running.

Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the officer walked to the driver’s door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.

The driver came awake when the officer tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the state policeman standing next to his car, the man panicked, jerked the gearshift into ” drive” and hit the gas. The car’s speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.

The policeman, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding, but still stationary, car. The driver was totally freaked thinking the officer was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds when the patrolman yelled at the man ordering him to “pull over!” the man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to say, the man was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the state patrolman who could run 50 miles per hour. Who says policeman don’t have a sense of humor?

It’s good to be corrected, except when it is your wife.

Fridays blog had a couple of videos in it. Yes, now that I have the means and capability to embed YouTube (I assume other videos as well) I am doing so with gusto. Back to point. We had a reader point out that there were two aircraft on the video of the F16 flame out. He provided a link that described in detail the bird strike. It was not an F16 but a CT155. That is to say a training jet used by the Canadian Air Force. Here is a photo of that type of aircraft courtesy of the Canadian 1st Squadron Stingers. Cool looking aircraft, huh?

I thought the accent was off....

So the F16 was edited into the cockpit video. Why? Who knows. It caught my eye and I used it because of the cockpit scenes. The crash took place near Moose Jaw Saskatchewan. Curious how they got that name. So Homes for Heroes extends a hearty thanks To Roger for keeping things correct in the land of the internet.

What can $150 get you these days? A weeks worth of groceries? A car insurance payment? Perhaps even a monthly phone plan. What fun is that? If you are going to spend $150 shouldn’t you get something grand like a house or something? A couple in Tracy, CA are offering up their million dollar home through a raffle for $150 a ticket. I have heard of Charities raffling off cars, bikes and dates but a private party raffling off their house? The authorities at first were against such a concept. But California law does not say who can or can’t use a raffle. In Minnesota the government has that angle covered. As a local radio host here says “Minnesota, the state where nothing is allowed” Only non-profits can hold raffles. Since Homes for Heroes is a real estate program I looked up the laws here. The laws seem to be written with a hint of disgust at anybody who wants to hold a raffle. Here is the website regarding the home raffle. The tickets are on sale till June so grab a couple as gifts. Imagine giving your boss a ticket as a gift and he wins!! Or that cranky neighbor that yells at your kids for walking on his grass. I also took a look at it from Mapquest satellite view. Looks like a nice piece of property. Let me know if any of you won.

If you had the same reaction to the raffle as I did, check out this website. It has all the states raffle laws. Look up your state and maybe, just maybe, you may have another way to get your home on the market and sold.

It has been a few days so let’s get right to it. WHAT IS IT??

Gravy bowl is close but terribly wrong for reasons you will soon find out.

What could it be? Something every home needs. I will let you make the discovery yourself. My apologies, but I couldn’t let it pass. Ha! Puns are great!

Still waiting for your stories. Since I have none I will have to tell you of an era where no office or shop phone was safe. Nor were your ears. A few of us would take a big glop of silicone lubricant and put it on the ear piece of the phone. Then we would go to another phone and call the affected phone. It was funny to see peoples reactions. Especially since we tried to be anonymous. If you want to liven up any office just head to your local hardware store and pick up a container of silicone or Vaseline. My next story will contain goats, cats and a wedding.

Last night watching tv, the National Association of Realtors had a commercial speaking to when is the right time to buy a home. That time is now, ask your Homes for Hero affiliate if you don’t believe me. As prices drop people start buying, once the buying begins, inventory drops. Once the inventory starts to drop the prices go up. Don’t get caught on the upswing.

See you tomorrow and don’t make me talk about cats and goats. Get you stories to me.

Semper Fi

400 Lbs., Tetris and Flame outs!

The big news of the day is the successful water ditching by US Air pilot Chesley B. Sullenberger. To think he dead sticked (no power) that plane in so perfectly as to not even break off a wing is truly amazing. My hats off to his skill, demeanor and cast iron B**ls. The aircraft was an Airbus A320. What is the significance of that you ask? It is a fly by wire aircraft, meaning that there is no cables connecting the pilots control stick to control surfaces. On older aircraft when you pulled the joy stick to go up you would feel the resistance of the wind over your wings. Not with this aircraft. On the A320 the joy stick is a super duper computer mouse. You move the stick and the stick sends a message to the computer, the computer sends a message to the flaps and the aircraft elevates. So to put it in terms of driving your car with the same controls as the A320. When you want to stop you just push a button on the dash and the car comes to a stop. If you want to stop faster you can’t just push the button harder like you could if you were pushing the brake pedal. So Mr. Sullenberger gets a Homes for Heroes huge salute and our thanks for being an American Hero.

Just to give you an idea of what a bird strike can do to an aircraft engine, I have a couple of videos from both inside and outside the cockpit. I have personally witnessed the after effects of a bird strike on an jet engine. In the Philippines a F4 Phantom had hit a turkey buzzard. Those turbines spin so fast they can actually send the flesh through metal. When you watch these two videos pay attention to how calm the pilots are. Training pays off.

This video is a F16 Falcon. You can see the bird suddenly gaining speed as it gets caught in the suction of the intake. Then the pilot tries to go through a restart. Now keep in mind the F16 only has one engine. So when it goes out he has no back up.

This next flame out is on a Boeing 757. Again listen to the calm in the pilots voice. Also you will notice the engine modulator is desperately trying to keep the engine firing but can’t. I have been on an aircraft when this happened. Fortunately the plane was on the ground. We were doing routine maintenance on the plane and some one started the engine. Inside we heard a loud bang and saw a flash. As the engine tried to gain speed the bangs and flashes came faster and faster. They shut down engine and started it again. Problem solved. I was not reassured though and it cost me my favorite pair of skivvies.

400 pounds. If it is made up solely of penny’s. Or 40 lbs. if it is solely made up of quarters. What? You know what I am talking about. Come on! Your memory can’t be that bad. We talked about it the other day. Fine, read this article. Some rube broke into a house and stole $800 worth of change. The police caught him a short distance away desperately lugging buckets of coins. My question was how much does $800 worth of coins weigh? 400 lbs. if penny’s, 200 lbs. if nickels, 40 lbs. if dimes or quarters. I couldn’t talk about it sooner because I had to brush up on my math. I hope your curiosity has now been satiated. If not read on.

We all complain that the younger generations spend too much time on the computer playing games and facebooking. (Is that a word?) Well now those Oxford University people may have stumbled on something that may provide help to our heroes suffering from Post Traumatic Stress. Playing the video game Tetris has shown to dramatically reduce flash backs. Think of that? What does Tetris do to the brain that it can rewire it just by playing? That may explain some things about me. It was my favorite game back in the days of Donkey Kong and Mario Brothers. I would play at least 2 hours a day. From experience I can tell you that you do completely zone out. Check out the article and start playing!

See you tomorrow

Semper Fi

Can cold save your life? New EMS procedure seems to prove it.

I woke up this morning and looked at the the temp outside. -14F. That is kinda cold. They expect here in Minneapolis it will be -20F tonight and if you are unlucky enough or dumb enough to be outside at that time wind chills will be at -40F. Think of those poor cops that have to be out in that weather. Homes for Heroes certainly feels for them.  The office staff is allergic to cold.  They recently demanded and received electric mittens that they can plug into their USB ports on their computers.  Some have modified them by placing them on their chair and keeping something other than their hands warm.  I was surprised to see that keeping that area warm actually showed an increase in productivity.  Go figure.  Maybe it is something we should look into.  We might need to rethink that whole cold hands warm heart saying.

Speaking of cold, I read through this article today.  In Colorado EMS techs will now freeze you if you have a heart attack.  No more zapping you with a million volts or having a 300 lb. EMS tech putting all his weight on your chest doing CPR.  Nope, no more pain.  Just fill you up with icy water and turn you into a human  popsicle.  The article points out that this actually has a higher rate of recovery for heart attack victims and a reduction of other complications.  Can that be more pleasant that 1 million volts coursing through your chest?  I think if I asked the Homes for Heroes staff they would pick something other than being frozen regardless of increased chances of survival.

I see that in North Carolina, the EMS techs have learned something from their kids.  They are adding the new Dodge Charger to their fleet of first response vehicles.  Reading the first few paragraphs I thought that this was a pretty smart move by the authorities.  Quicker response times, etc. Further in the article you get to the justifications on why they settled on the Charger and I started to wonder.  Just read below and see if you agree.  My teenage boys have used at least two of these reasons  out of that article on why they should be allowed to have a 1969 Mustang Mach 1 instead of the old Taurus.

‘They are cheaper and more fuel-efficient than the Chevrolet Suburbans and other SUVs issued to EMS supervisors, as well as comparable police interceptors such as Ford’s Crown Victoria. Their resale value, he added, should be higher when it comes time to sell them as surplus vehicles.

“We didn’t choose this vehicle because it has a powerful engine or a fast start or something like that,” said Hammerstein, who said he has not yet driven one of the Chargers. “Sure, we don’t want to buy something with such a small, four-cylinder engine you can’t make it go. It’s a safer vehicle altogether because it is prepared for an emergency response.”

Dodge does offer the police Charger with a less-robust V6, but Hammerstein said the more powerful version features better brakes and more responsive steering.

With their target-sight grilles, menacing headlamps and humped rear quarter panels, the Chargers have become the darling of law enforcement officers across the country. They will accelerate from a dead stop to 60 mph in less than 6 seconds.’

I picture this video will be an example what the future holds for North Carolina Ambulance (Charger) drivers.  But somebody bought their lines and I have to give them credit for getting away with it.

Well my word count is on target so far.  I will have to talk about what $800 in change weighs tomorrow.

Remember, Homes for Heroes is a program that will put money in your pocket when you sell or buy a home.  All you have to do is contact Homes for Heroes and they will set you up with an affiliate.  No cost to you and no paperwork! How does that work?  Visit the website and see what this program will do for you.

See you tomorrow.

Semper Fi

How dumb can one be? The moon is close so look out!

Yeah!! It is Friday, and you know what that means. It means that Homes for Heroes office wishes all of you heroes selling or buying a home to have a quick clean deals. Of course we wish this on you every day, but being Friday, the staff at Homes for Heroes, let’s me put it on the blog. They have been worried lately that I am writing too much. Remember, I have to write these stories on the blog because I get the look if I bring them up at the dinner table.

Perusing through the morning feeds today, a pattern was slowly emerging. Not that the pattern was slow, it was my keen ability to ignore the obvious that had to be worn down. The pattern that finally smacked me in the back of the head was there was a lot of stupid criminals out there yesterday. From all over the country yesterday, some police had it easy. This is the stuff that makes us think art does not imitate life, but life cannot understand anything. As we go through these stories I think you will agree that we need to go back to testing citizens to see if they can qualify to vote.

First story shows us that life is not fair. If you have a gang of kids toilet papering your house, do not, I repeat, do not spray them with fox urine!! It will get you arrested for assault. We glean from this a couple of things. One, fox urine can p*** off (pun) teen age kids enough that they will confess a crime and cry to mommy and daddy. Maybe our troops at GITMO can learn something here. The other thing I learned is that you can pick up a bottle of fox urine at your local Cabela’s. How do they get fox urine into a bottle is the next question I have…….

Next, if you want to keep your identity hidden from the police you should not tattoo your name on your head. Come on dude, what were you thinking. It is kind of like, heck I don’t what it is like to be that dumb.

Now this next story I was not going to include. I thought it took a set to steal a cop car during a traffic stop. Then I thought, how dumb does one have to be to drive away in a police car with a K9 sitting next to you? The dog was probably excited because his handler had just given him two incredibly fun chew toys. Too bad they were taken away before the dog could drag them around the yard.

This one I loved. The only way this would not make it is if it took place in New Orleans. You know they just got snowed upon yesterday. And if some dork decided to rob someone then walk home in the snow I could let is slide. After all he would not realize that he would leave tracks in the snow. But these rubes lived in Illinois for crying out loud. I picture toothless kids who think their cousin is hot.

I hope this fellow gets a lenient judge. If you were caught stealing would you stick around for 3 hours waiting for the police to show. This man did, then when the police didn’t show up, he left his phone number for the police to call him at home. THEN when the police do call him, he agrees to come in to the police station. This is what I mean by cops having it easy yesterday. Just picture this conversation. “Tough night yesterday Officer Bob?” “Naw…. We had a shoplifter at Walmart yesterday. I was going to go out and bust him but all I had to do to bust this guy was give him a call.”

Is this next story a crime? It should be. And if so, the defense should be not guilty by reason of excitedness. I think I would have wrecked the bed before calling the polices. I am just wonder though, how hard was it to get her dressed?

Well, I was going to give another story from my life experiences. But I have used up my allotment of Wells. If you have been a regular reader you should notice that I use the word well (no pun here) quite often. In fact I would say about 50% of my sentences use the word well. (again no pun)

Minneapolis is supposed to be getting another large storm this weekend. I love winter storms. I get to get up early and shovel. I don’t have to, but it bugs me when someone walks on my sidewalk before I shovel. Something that a therapist might be able to explain. Also I get to use my recently acquired snow blower. So everyone pray for 10 inches of snow in Minneapolis. Thanks

Semper Fi

In their Boots, the French and monkeys!?!

While doing my daily perusing of blogs I saw that one blogger mentioned a site that was part of the inspiration of Homes for Heroes Foundation. This site is dedicated to the average G.I. Joe coming home and having to deal with this new reality of transitioning back to home. In Their Boots should be a weekly visit for all of us who appreciate what our Heroes must endure after honorably serving their country. These are the people that HFHF hopes to reach and add to the already growing number of groups that are helping our Heroes transition from the daily stress of conflict to the life we all take for granted. Homes for Heroes Foundation also is there for our Police, Firefighter and First Responders that can also find themselves in situations that they did not ask for while performing their duties for our communities. If you spend any time at In Their Boots you will be proud of how these people cope. I often wonder how they can keep up the faith while facing the crap of every day life. Who has time to figure out bennies, when you have to figure out how you are going to get a wider door to get your wheel chair through on a government income, let alone finding a new job. Please visit and become impressed with our countries finest.

Another site that caught my attention was BlackFive. He had an article that was written by a French soldier (which by the way France is now an all volunteer force) with his impression of American Soldiers. I have lived in France for two years and this soldiers article was the French people that have lived with and became good friends with today. I have received some grief in the past from my family and friends because I have a different take on the French citizens. They have more in common with us than the press and the stereotypes would have you believe. What this letter states is something I lived many times while sitting in my backyard in Cornebarrieu with several neighbors sampling the best the French have to offer in Wine, Bourbon, and Cognac. They too have to fight their press and stereotypes of Americans as arrogant bullies wearing cowboy boots and hats. But all of the people I met in France had a huge gratitude towards us Americans and are very glad we are in this world. Enough said, read the article and you will see that the French are a very good people. Also you will see that the stereotype the French have is pretty close to the truth!! Ha! Read and you will know what I am talking about.

Now I know you have been waiting for my second story regarding stones and monkeys. Well, if you see this creature while wondering the roads and paths of Subic Bay, Philippines, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT decide to throw a stone, rock, banana, peanut or anything at them. They take great offense and will reciprocate with all the vim and vigor that a monkey can give. I know because I was victim of that vim and vigor. I was sent on advance party to the Philippines to get things ready for our squadrons arrival. I got to spend Christmas eve there all by my self (that’s another story) so after leaving the chow hall I thought I should celebrate Christmas eve with a drink at the E-Club. Well a short cut to the club was behind the chow hall. As I was passing the dumpsters, they were crawling with monkeys. Well the monkeys started to screech at me and I took offense to that. So being the superior human I thought a well aimed stone at the metal dumpster would 1) scare and scatter them back into the jungle and 2) prove to the animal kingdom that us humans are very much superior to furry creatures. So the stone left my hand and clanged into the metal dumpster with the exact loud ring I had anticipated. After a second and a couple of dodges later I found out that the monkeys did not scatter back into the jungle where they belonged but had regrouped and went on the offensive. There must have been 15 to 20 monkeys throwing anything they could get their little furry paws on at me. And to my dismay very accurate little furry paws. So the humiliated Sergeant had to flee the garbage eating monkeys with a very hard learned lesson. Hungry monkeys can and will win against an arrogant stone throwing Marine.

Well I have more to say but it will have to wait until next blog. I have my notes and will keep them on my white board. I still hold hope that someone out there has a better story than garbage flinging monkeys. Let’s hear those stories, because I have tons.

HOMES FOR HEROES FOUNDATION IS CREATED

Hello all,

Homes for Heroes (HFH) has started to get enough interest in their non profit organization so I am here to start letting the word get out. HFH is really excited about the direction their company is moving. It started out as a way to help our local heroes get some help getting into homes and now is starting to go beyond that by doing more than just putting heroes into homes. We have started to help existing home owners with needs beyond ownership. This all happened by chance and we are glad that we have been blessed with this opportunity. Originally HFH was connecting heroes with realtor’s and mortgage brokers providing discounts that were paid back to the buyer and or seller. But we were receiving other calls, example, one soldier home from Iraq that has a lot of third degree burns was looking for some help in getting an awning built in his back yard so he could watch his kids as they swam in the pool. At first we stated that we did not provide this type of assistance, but as we received more of these calls and the emotional trauma of seeing how much these soldiers had given we could not let this go on. Homes for Heroes Foundation (HFHF) was created as a non profit so we could start getting these heroes some assistance that they deserve. HFHF did find a contractor that was willing to help out (free of charge)and one less worry for a soldier that is recuperating at home.

So we are now going to dedicate this blog into a site that will not only document our successes it will also be a site for commentary on those heroes that patrol the streets in Chicago, put out the fires in California as well as our brethren that are wearing the uniforms of our fighting forces.

I have spent 12 years in the Marine Corps and got out just after Desert Storm and my family is sick of all the stories that I have repeated over the years. This new blogging craze will let me share some of those stories (the ones at least I don’t mind my wife reading) with you readers. I also want to hear from others all those stories that are starting to wear thin with your friends and family.

Next blog will have one of those stories about the time I got promoted to Sergeant…….

One last thing, time is running out for one charity, Operation Christmas Tree, they have a goal of sending 7000 Christmas trees to our troops this year, currently they are around 2000. $25 bucks gets a tree to one of our soldiers overseas. Last date to get an order in is November 26, so if you can help some of our soldier get a little bit of home over Christmas.

Thank you for your read and patience and hope to hear from you soon.